James 1.19-20
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
Here’s a checklist of 12 things to determine if you tend to be quarrelsome:
- You are slow to hear, quick to speak, and quick to anger.
- You rarely ask questions. You are not looking to listen; you are looking to defend yourself or attack your opponents.
- You are strong on truth, but weak on love.
- You do not try to understand or empathize with people who disagree with you. When you argue, your goal isn’t to understand and connect with people. Your goal is to “win” the argument.
- Your first instinct is to criticize; your last instinct is to encourage.
- You mistakenly think that having an opinion is the same as having credibility.
- You have few un-expressed opinions. If you think it, you say it and argue for it.
- You are combative about your opinions. You are looking for a fight. Every opinion you have is a conviction you think must be vigorously defended.
- Your model for ministry is Elijah’s showdown with the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel.
- You don’t look for and don’t see the gray area. Everything in life is black and white.
- You don’t give the benefit of the doubt. You do not try to consider arguments in context. You put the worst possible interpretation on other’s motives, and when there is a less flattering interpretation you go for that one.
- You see life through a narrow lens, and everything fits in it. You are blind to things outside your lens. Worse, you are blind to your blind spots.
The common characteristic of these 12 things is self-centeredness. Don’t be quarrelsome. Don’t be self-centered. Trust God, seek truth, and love people.
Coram Deo
