Proverbs 10.10-11
“Whoever winks the eye causes trouble, and a babbling fool will come to ruin. The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.”
In contrast to babbling fools who use their words to do harm, wise people use their words to give life. Wise people speak the truth in love. They use their words to communicate and connect; to challenge and encourage; to engage in real conversations and healthy debate.
Wise people think before they speak or write or tweet. They do not jump to conclusions. They are elite listeners who seek first to understand.
Wise people do not promote a narrative; they pursue truth. Their goal isn’t to win an argument or complain or blame; their goal is to get things done, solve problems, and make things better.
Communication is one of the most important things we do every day, and we spend most of our waking time sending and receiving messages. We use words to ask questions, give directions, and explain things. We use words to encourage people and challenge people. We use words to express approval and appreciation, and we use words to communicate disapproval and disappointment.
Words are the currency of human interaction. This is God’s design. All relationships — personal and professional — depend on effective communication. This is true for marriage, parenting, friendship, leadership, teamwork, and coaching. At the heart of every great relationship is effective communication and the wise use of words.
And as Proverbs points out, the opposite is also true. When we use words the wrong way, communication breaks down. And when communication breaks down, a relationship breaks down.
It is imperative, therefore, that we take control of our speech and communication habits. This is the message in James 3.3-6:
“If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.”
James refers to “the tongue” as a symbol for what we say and how we say it. Like a bit with a horse or a rudder on a ship, the tongue is small in size but big in its impact. Very big. The message is this: Be aware of how what you say affects the people around you. Do not underestimate the impact of your words.
If we do not control the tongue, we run the risk of “igniting a forest fire” and “staining the whole body.” And to make sure that we give this our full attention, James tells us that the origin of undisciplined speech — the “fire” — is hell itself. This means that controlling our speech is a battle between our old nature (which has its origin in the Enemy) and our new nature (made in the image of God).
The words you speak are so important that Jesus said this: “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak.” (Matthew 12:36).
Let us, then, guard our hearts and our tongues will all diligence. May we trust God and exercise wisdom and discipline in the way we speak and communicate.
“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” (Psalm 141.3)
