Proverbs 11.12-13
“Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent. Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.”
Wise people don’t gossip. They don’t talk about people, they talk to people. A wise person might hear or know something about someone, but they don’t share it with others. They keep it to themselves.
Gossip divides relationships and destroys trust. The pain associated with gossip is felt long after the words are spoken. The book of James makes a very straightforward declaration against gossip: “Do not speak evil against one another, brothers.” (James 4.11-2)
To “speak evil” against another person is a very serious thing. Slander refers to critical derogatory speech directed against others. James calls it “speaking evil” because it originates with the enemy. Speaking evil is what Satan does. In fact, the Greek word for devil is diabolos, and it means “slanderer.” When we slander and gossip, we are doing the work of the devil.
There is a subtle difference between gossip and slander. Gossip is telling stories (sometimes true stories) about people behind their back. Slander is derogatory speech that is maliciously intended to influence others against the person being spoken of. It is deliberately calling attention to the faults of others while minimizing their virtues.
When we gossip people, we are taking a story where it should not go. When we slander, we create a false story and spread it. Both are included in James’ warning here because both cause great harm.
It’s not a surprise when wounding words come from those outside the church, but they shouldn’t come from within. Slander has devastating effects; it denigrates dignity, defames character, and destroys reputations. We must stop speaking evil against one another.
James calls out this sin because it has the evil motive of disparaging a person’s character or position. Even if a negative story is true, it does not give us the right to say it. The point is that when we make disparaging comments, we are acting as if we are superior to the other person (what James calls judgment) so that, as even the very form of James’ verb suggests, we ‘talk down’ to them.
Defamation is forbidden not only as a breach of truth or a breach of love, but also as a breach of humility. There is a lot of gossip in our world today. Don’t be part of it.
Here are four steps for avoiding slander, gossip, and disparaging comments about others.
- Talk to people, not about people. Talking about people who are not present to represent themselves is not only unhealthy, it is cowardly.
- Before you say something about another person, Press Pause and use this three-fold test: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it helpful? If it doesn’t pass the threefold test, don’t say it.
- Redirect gossip and disparaging talk into prayer. When you feel the urge to say something disparaging about someone, shift your focus into prayer on behalf of the person.
- Stay humble and remember that you also have flaws. As Jesus said, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will be able to see clearly to help the other person take the speck out of their eye.
“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” (Matthew 5.7-9)
