Proverbs 21.23
“Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.”
Communication is one of the most important things we do every day, and we spend most of our waking time sending and receiving messages. We use words to ask questions, give directions, and explain things. We use words to encourage people and challenge people. We use words to express approval and appreciation, and we use words to communicate disapproval and disappointment.
Words are the currency of human interaction. This is God’s design. All relationships — personal and professional — depend on effective communication. This is true for marriage, parenting, friendship, leadership, teamwork, and coaching. At the heart of every great relationship is effective communication and the wise use of words.
As Proverbs points out, the opposite is also true. When we use words the wrong way, communication breaks down. And when communication breaks down, a relationship breaks down.
“Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.” (Proverbs 18.21)
When we honor Christ as Lord, our communication is wise and disciplined, and it is appropriate for the situation. In some situations we should speak quietly and gently; in other situations directly and dispassionately; in still other situations we should speak with an emotional edge. It all depends on the circumstance, and therefore wisdom is involved. What the Lord wants is for us to use the right words at the right time in the right way and for the right reason. He does not want us speaking out of impulse or mismanaged emotion.
Here are three practical steps for effective communication:
- Be wise and disciplined about what you say. This is the content of your words. Is it true and relevant? Is it accurate? Based on what credible source? Is it simply your opinion? Is it hearsay and gossip?
- Be wise and disciplined about why you speak. Examine your motives. Why are you speaking, writing, or posting? Are you just spreading gossip? If you are expressing a critical opinion, why? For what purpose? Are you seeking to help or to hurt?
- Be wise and disciplined about how you speak. Examine your method of speaking, writing, or posting. Are you using harsh and abrasive language just to be disparaging and demeaning? Or are you sending messages in an effective, compelling, beneficial way?
Trust God, do the work, and be wise about managing what, why, and how you communicate.
