Proverbs 14.29
“Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.”
Solomon reminds us of a truth that everyone knows: A level-headed person is much more effective than a hothead. The ability to manage your emotions and express them at the right time and in the right way is a master discipline. It is not a nice-to-have; it is a must-have.
As misdirected emotion goes up, clarity goes down.
Mismanaged emotion wants you to react impulsively and without thinking. But in order to live and work at your best, you must resist the urge to react. You must develop the discipline (the process of musar) to manage your emotions, gain clarity, and then take effective action.
Emotion itself isn’t bad; the problem is misdirected and mismanaged emotion. As Paul says in Ephesians: “Be angry, but do not sin.” There are situations in life that should elicit anger in you. However, you must be careful that you are angry at the right time, in the right way, and for the right reason.
Undisciplined emotion distorts a situation and creates negative energy.
Disciplined emotion clarifies a situation and creates positive energy.
The essential skills is to Press Pause and gain clarity. It is particularly important to Press Pause when you feel a strong, disruptive emotion. You must not allow an emotional impulse to operate unchallenged in your mind. This is why the apostle Paul instructs us to “take every thought captive to obey Christ.”
As anger elevates, wisdom evaporates.
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19-20)
You can’t make good decisions with bad information. Sometimes your feelings give you bad information. The James passage gives practical advice: Slow down your speaking and your emotions, and speed up your listening. In other words, do not allow how you feel to be the primary reference point for what you do. Before you say something or do something, gain a better understanding of the situation by slowing down and listening.
When you elevate your emotions and give your feelings authority over listening and thinking, you play right into the hands of your old sin nature. Disruptive emotion — in this case, anger — does not think clearly or seek wisdom. It simply reacts, and that impulsive, undisciplined reaction will almost certainly not be in alignment with God’s standards.
Stupidity feeds on impulsive anger.
Emotions are an important part of what makes us human. Indeed, emotions are a key element of being made in the image of God. However, as a result of the Fall, our emotions tend to operate in disruptive, counterproductive ways.
Proverbs 25.28 says: “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” It is a timeless truth: Emotions are a wonderful servant, but a terrible master. When people do stupid things, it is almost always because of mismanaged or misdirected emotion. The key is to harness and focus your emotions so that they work for you and not against you.
A lack of self-discipline puts you at risk. To act impulsively, without reflection, leads to foolishness and even stupidity. Manage your emotions, or they will manage you.
If you want to be wise, then exercise self-discipline over your emotional impulses, Press Pause, and ask the following questions before speaking or acting:
- Does it align with God’s standards?
- Does it contribute to achieving a goal or solving a problem?
- Does it make the situation better?
- Does it make you better?
- Does it help someone else?
As a follower of Jesus, asking these questions should include focused prayer, asking the Lord for wisdom from his Word and his Spirit.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6)
