1 John 4.9-10
“In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”
The world’s definition of love focuses primarily on feelings and affection. God’s design and definition of love includes feelings and affection, but is rooted in selfless commitment. A love that is motivated by selfless commitment is very different than a love motivated primarily by how one feels. In fact, love as God defines it has more in common with courage than it does with affection or sentiment.
Consider the love of God which sent Jesus into the world to die for our sins. It is not likely that God “felt” like sending his Son to be crucified for our sins; nevertheless, motivated by his love for us, the Lord sent his Son to the cross.
Think deeply about Jesus himself and the love that motivated him to submit to the awful punishment of the cross. The gospel of Luke describes what Jesus was feeling as he knelt in prayer on the Mt of Olives the night before the crucifixion:
“And he came out and went, as was his custom, to the Mount of Olives, and the disciples followed him. And when he came to the place, he said to them, “Pray that you may not enter into temptation.” And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him. And being in agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” (Luke 22.39-44)
Clearly, Jesus did not feel like going to the cross; he felt unimaginable stress, so much that the scripture tells us he was “in agony” and “his sweat became like great drops of blood.” Nevertheless, motivated by his love for us and his love for the Father, he “endured the shame of the cross” and suffered on our behalf.
This is why John 15.13 says, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”
As you can see from these examples, love in the kingdom of God is more than a feeling; rather, it is a decision that is driven by an uncommon commitment to the best interest and benefit of others. There are many times when authentic love will drive you to do something you don’t feel like doing.
Yes, love often includes a feeling of strong affection, but it is a mistake to equate love with feeling. Love that is directed by feelings is the way of the world; it is a distortion of the enemy. God designed feelings to follow from love, not to direct love. Do you see the difference? According to God’s design, feelings follow from love, but they don’t direct it. In the biblical view of love, feelings are subordinate to selfless commitment; in the world’s view of love, commitment is subordinate to feelings.
Love according to the world: My feelings about you are primary; my commitment to you flows from how I feel. Love according to God’s kingdom: My commitment to you is primary; my feelings flow from that commitment.
Do you see the implications of these two contrasting definitions of love? The world’s way of love is subjective, emotional, and driven by feelings. When the feelings waver, the love goes away. Given this definition, it is no surprise that there are so many broken relationships in our society!
God’s way of love is objective, intentional, and driven by selfless commitment. When the feelings waver, the love does not go away. It stays strong. The Lord calls us to his definition of love, not the world’s.
“In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” (1 John 4.10-11)
