Proverbs 21.23
“Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.”
Very few things in life are more important and impactful than the way we communicate. Communication is how we connect — or disconnect — from each other. This is especially true in the midst of a difficult, emotionally-charged conversation.
When a conversation is difficult and full of emotion, wise people don’t react, they respond. They are thoughtful and intentional. They are discerning and disciplined. They seek to bring clarity and perspective to the conversation.
Foolish people, on the other hand, get caught up in their emotions, and then react with heat rather than light. The result is escalated anger, diminished clarity, rash words, hurt feelings, and a damaged relationship.
It is of the utmost importance that we develop the discipline of pressing pause and thinking before speaking. This is especially true when engaged in a difficult conversation. The more emotion you feel, the more careful you should be before speaking.
This is the message in Proverbs 15.1-2: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly.” The first response is described as a “soft answer” that tends to have a calming effect. The latter is described as a “harsh word” that tends to incite anger. Wise words inform; foolish words inflame.
Note that Solomon says that the mouth of the fool “pours out folly.” If you have been subjected to the proclamations of an emotionally charged person who blathers on and on about their uninformed (or misinformed) opinion, you know precisely what Solomon is talking about.
To further emphasize the priority of managing what and how you communicate, Proverbs chapter 15 gives additional verses that speak to the topic:
“A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” (Proverbs 15.4)
“The lips of the wise spread knowledge; not so the hearts of fools.” (Proverbs 15.7)
“The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouths of fools feed on folly.” (Proverbs 15:14)
Foolish people speak rashly and without knowledge; wise people seek truth and speak truth. Foolish people use their words to criticize, hurt and tear down; wise people use their words to connect, understand, and gain clarity. Foolish people are reckless with their words; wise people are careful about what they say.
Trust God, do the work to be informed, and be wise in your conversations.
