Proverbs 20.22
“Do not say, I will repay evil’; wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you.”
Wise people do not look for revenge. Instead, they trust God and his process of justice. Anger, resentment, and desire for revenge are impulsive passions of the old nature. Trying to get back or get even with someone is a dark and destructive mindset.
The NT gives the same command: “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’ To the contrary, if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:17-21)
Read verse 17 again and notice that mental discipline is a key element in avoiding an attitude of revenge. “Give thought to what is honorable,” the verse says. The Greek word used for “give thought” is pronooumenoi, which is a combo word that comes from pro (before) + noieo (to think). It literally means “to think before” or “to consider in advance” or “look out beforehand.”
This is E+R=O. It is R Factor. Scripture tells us directly: Be disciplined. Press Pause and think before you respond. Look at the situation through a kingdom lens and give thought to what response would be honorable. Keep in mind that oftentimes what is honorable is neither easy nor popular.
Note also that the Proverbs 20 passage instructs us to “wait for the Lord” in response to someone doing evil against us. Again, “waiting on the Lord” is an instruction to Press Pause and think.
The old nature is impulsive and emotional, and it does not pause and consider what is honorable. This is especially true when you have been wronged by someone. When someone slanders you or seeks to harm you, the easy thing to do — the impulsive to do — is to get back at them. You see this all the time on social media. Someone tweets something nasty, and it triggers a nasty reaction.
Sadly, it must be said that President Trump does this frequently. He gets combative and reacts to criticism by sending out tweets that are anything but honorable, which makes meaningful dialogue and debate even more difficult. It is true that the president’s opponents do it also, but it would be exceedingly helpful if the highest office in our country set the tone for what is honorable in the midst of partisan conflict. The president would do well to consider Proverbs 20 and Romans 12.
Be careful though. It is very easy to see someone else’s failure to follow this principle and miss your own. If you are married, there’s a good chance that at some point in your marriage your spouse has said/done something that irritated you, and you reacted by trying to “get back” at them. You might not think of it as “revenge” or “vengeance”, but if you are brutally honest, isn’t it really a version of that, albeit on a lesser scale?
Was your reaction to your spouse honorable? Did you exercise discipline and apply pronooumenoi? Did you pause, think, and pray before responding? Did you ask yourself (and the Lord), “I am angry and hurt by what he/she said or did, so how should I respond honorably?”
Press pause and think before responding … and be honorable.
