Proverbs 26.20
“For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.”
Unfortunately, it happens all the time. You’ve seen it. You’ve experienced it. You’ve done it. We all have. It happens in organizations and on teams and in churches. It even happens in marriages and families. It’s called many things: Gossip, backbiting, blaming, complaining, whining.
This verse in Proverbs calls it “whispering.” It’s the Hebrew word nirgan. Interpersonal conflict is often fueled by gossip and whispering. When we refrain from gossip and backbiting, conflict goes away.
When we gossip about each other, we demonstrate a lack of obedience to God and a lack of love toward others. We exalt ourselves and sit in judgment over them. Jesus warned against this when he said, “Do not judge lest you be judged.”
Therefore, the message in scripture is very straightforward: Stop doing it.
Proverbs 26.21
“As charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.”
Quarrelsome people create and feed conflict. They fuel the fire of dissension and division. They make life miserable for themselves and the people around them. This is true for any kind of relationship: at home, at work, and in our friendships.
It’s also true culturally, and it is with great sadness that we witness it being played out in today’s political landscape. This is the identity politics used by many that seeks to “kindle strife” among the citizenry. Do not participate in it. Do not add fuel to the fire. Don’t fan the flames.
The wise person seeks to avoid conflict. The foolish person is combative and easily drawn into quarrels and fights. It’s a matter of being disciplined and self-controlled vs being undisciplined and impulsive.
Our world is made better by disciplined people who are peace-makers and who seek to avoid conflict. Our world is made harsh and cruel by people who lack self-control, and who are always looking for a fight.
You see combative people on the road. You read them on twitter, in fan forums, and in the commentary sections in blogs and on websites. You see them at protests and rallies. They are arrogant fools who love to criticize and fight.
They are not going to go away; they will always be there. So ignore them. Leave them to their own devices.
Proverbs 26.22
“The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.”
When you gossip, it’s like eating food that tastes good, but then it makes you sick. This verse warns you not to offer “delicious gossip” to others, and don’t consume it when others offer it to you.
