Proverbs 29.1
“He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck, will suddenly be broken beyond healing.”
The proverb addresses the danger of not listening to those who constructively criticize. Those who are repeatedly warned about behavior that has potentially dangerous consequences but do not listen (are stiff-necked) will find all of a sudden that the consequences have caught up with them, and they will have moved beyond the point where an easy fix is possible.
The purpose of the proverb is to encourage us to respond to feedback. Proverbs has addressed this topic several times before:
“A rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred blows into a fool.” (Proverbs 17.10)
“A wise son hears his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.” (Proverbs 13.1)
Wise people listen to feedback. When confronted with a rebuke, they listen and reflect. This contrasts with the hard-hearted fools, who resist and reject feedback. Indeed, fools are so hard-hearted that even a hundred blows can’t break through and get them to listen and change.
A scoffer is someone who resists correction. The act of scoffing or “mocking” is a way of attacking those who offer wise and helpful advice. The scoffer refuses to admit wrongdoing and cannot tolerate a rebuke that points out mistakes. As a result, the scoffer cannot and will not improve behavior.
At Focus 3, we teach a simple and powerful discipline: No BCD. Don’t blame, complain, or defend. In other words, no scoffing. We have been teaching no BCD for many years now, and it has gained a large following. People and organizations have rallied to the call. It is has become an anthem for teams and a daily motto for thousands of people around the world. It gains traction and momentum every day. People intuitively know that BCD is counterproductive.
The bottom line is that BCD doesn’t work. It is lazy, and it takes virtually no effort or skill. Worse, it is cowardly. BCD does not achieve goals, it doesn’t solve problems, and it doesn’t improve relationships.
- Blaming indicates you are irresponsible and untrustworthy.
- Complaining makes you inefficient and unenjoyable.
- Defensiveness reveals your ego and your weakness.
The “no BCD” rule does not mean ignoring problems; it means solving them. Wise people understand there will always be problems in a fallen world, and they invest their time and energy in finding solutions.
As Proverbs 17.10 says, the fool is stubborn, and doesn’t listen to feedback, even after receiving a hundred blows. The wise person, on the other hand, takes feedback to heart. They don’t engage in BCD. Instead, they seek to solve problems. They listen to feedback and instruction. They want constructive criticism. They want to be coached. They want to get better.
Trust God, receive feedback with humility, and do the work.
