Proverbs 18.13
“If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.”
Listening skills in our society are deteriorating, and it comes at a very high cost. People tend to be quick to react and slow to reflect. Rather than seeking to understand, many are quick to accuse and denounce. The result is a frightening breakdown of the respectful dialogue necessary for solving the problems we face.
Wherever it is found, poor listening does great damage to communication and the effective exchange of information and ideas. It hinders the sharing of thoughts and feelings. Poor listening is devastating to a marriage, as well as to parenting, business, education, coaching, and politics.
Better listening makes everything better.
The Proverb quoted above is direct and powerful, and it should convict us all. Wise people listen carefully and answer slowly. A hasty response is not wise or prudent; in fact, as this Proverb says, it is foolish and shameful to answer without really listening. Comprehending accurately and answering wisely are far more important than reacting quickly.
As the saying goes, there is a reason God gave you two ears to hear, but only one mouth to speak.
Your ears are guided by your mind and your heart. To actually listen — to really hear and understand what someone is saying — requires an open heart and a disciplined mind. If your heart isn’t open and your mind lacks discipline, your ears will not seek to listen, hear, and understand.
“A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.” (Proverbs 18:2).
This verse provides an important insight: Foolish people do not want to listen and understand. They “take no pleasure in understanding.” What they do take pleasure in is declaring their opinion. For a dramatic example of the debilitating and destructive impact of people expressing their opinion without listening, look no further than the dysfunctional state of political dialogue and debate in our country.
A preponderance of politicians, pundits, and provocateurs continually declare their opinion and make no effort to understand the opinions and perspectives of others. As a result, many people are locked in an echo chamber where they only listen to the narrative of their group.
They aren’t seeking other perspectives. They aren’t considering alternative opinions. They don’t seek truth or wisdom. They only seek confirmation for what they already think and feel.
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27.17)
Wise people aren’t afraid of different opinions and perspectives. They welcome and listen to diversity of thought. They engage in spirited dialogue, embrace disagreement, and respond with respectful discussion, discourse, and debate. They know that iron sharpens iron.
Again, better listening makes everything better.
The Lord is calling.
