Proverbs 16.32
“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.”
Proverbs 25.28
“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.”
I want to go back and look again at two very important verses in Proverbs that address the topic of self-control. The value and necessity of self-control in our life cannot be emphasized enough. The first step is self-awareness. Individually and collectively, our world is in deep need of deeper levels of self-awareness and self-discipline.
We must exercise self-control in response to our emotions. Our emotions are an integral part of God’s design. They are an essential attribute of the image of God in man. However, our emotions were distorted by the Fall. When we fail to be disciplined about managing our emotions, we are vulnerable to the seductive and destructive temptations of the enemy. Like Proverbs 25.28 says: “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.”
Disciplined emotion is a source of productive energy that empowers you to respond to situations with wisdom and skill. This wisdom and skill (hokma) is the focus of the entire book of Proverbs. People who are self-aware and self-disciplined feed productive emotions, and they don’t feed disruptive emotions. They do not let their mind run on autopilot.
Please understand that the Holy Spirit constantly seeks to empower this discipline in your life. The Holy Spirit seeks to help you see with clarity and respond with courage to the events and situations in your life. Awareness is key, because clarity of vision drives quality of action. The Spirit seeks to empower you to see clearly. This is why the final fruit of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5 is “self-discipline.”
An impulse to act is part of every emotion. The root of the English word “emotion” is a Latin word that means “to move.” Indeed, emotion means to “evoke motion.” Consider the big four emotions:
- Anger is an impulse is to move against.
- Affection is an impulse is to move toward.
- Fear is an impulse is to move away.
- Sadness is an impulse to not move … just be still and be sad.
Should you do whatever your emotional impulses want you to do? The answer, of course, depends on the situation. The reality is that an emotional reaction is rarely the most effective response. Emotions can be very impulsive, and they do not always see things clearly. Emotions often tempt you to over-react to situations.
Note what Paul says in Ephesians: “Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil” (Ephesians 4.26-27). In other words, there are situations where anger is appropriate. However, Paul also makes it clear that if you don’t manage your anger, if you let it go too soon or too far, you will lose control and move into sin.
This is true for every emotion.
The essential discipline is self-control; that is, press pause, think, and gain clarity about whatever situation you are in. You must have the self-awareness to recognize when your emotions are trying to move you in the wrong direction, and you must have the self-discipline to regulate yourself. The more challenging the situation and the stronger the emotion, the more important it is for you to exercise self-awareness and self-discipline.
