Proverbs 16.32
“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.”
Proverbs 25.28
“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.”
The value and necessity of self-control in our life cannot be emphasized enough. The first step is self-awareness. Individually and collectively, our world is in deep need of deeper levels of self-awareness and self-discipline.
The bible — and Proverbs in particular — puts a strong emphasis on self-discipline with respect to how we use our words.
Words are very powerful things, much more powerful than many of us realize. God calls us to choose our words wisely. If you want a productive and effective life, it is necessary to be disciplined in your speech and use what you say for the benefit and encouragement of others. Scripture provides many instructions on how to be disciplined and effective in your speech, and it offers many admonitions that warn us not to speak foolishly.
Being careful and wise about your words refers to your face-to-face conversations, as well as your online messages. This includes texts, emails, tweets, IG and Facebook posts, and comments in online forums. I am greatly disheartened by much of what is being posted online. Actually, disheartened isn’t strong enough. Mortified is more accurate.
Throughout the book of Proverbs, Solomon gives timeless advice about being disciplined in what we say, how we say it, and why.
- Proverbs 17.27-28: “Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.” Exercise verbal restraint. Don’t say more than is necessary. Exercise emotional restraint. Control your spirit; keep your spirit “cool.” Do not let mismanaged emotions speak for you. Speak with wisdom or be silent. To put it more bluntly, either speak wisely or keep your mouth shut. Better to not say anything than to speak foolishly.
- Proverbs 18.2,13, 17: “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion … If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame … The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.”
Listen attentively and speak cautiously. Seek first to understand. Don’t offer an opinion unless you have done your homework. It is foolish to give an opinion about things you do not understand. If you speak hastily, you will embarrass yourself. Be careful about speaking too soon and without considering a broader perspective.
- Proverbs 18.4: “The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters; the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook.”
The words of a wise person “bubble up” from a place of deep thought and insight. The image of a brook indicates that the words of the wise are life-giving to others. Their observations are careful, thoughtful, and helpful.
- Proverbs 18.6-8: “A fool’s lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating. A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul. The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.”
Don’t be impulsive with your words. Don’t gossip, don’t be argumentative, and don’t be combative. If you speak recklessly, you are inviting conflict. Use gentle words when someone is angry. Talk to people, not about people. When you gossip, it’s like eating food that tastes good, but then makes you very sick. Heed the dire warning in this passage: Be careful that your mouth doesn’t ruin you; that it doesn’t ensnare and entrap your very soul with words of arrogance and deceitfulness.
- Proverbs 18.20: “From the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach is satisfied; he is satisfied by the yield of his lips.”Speaking with truth and wisdom is spiritually fulfilling. Just as food satisfies physical hunger, so also words of wisdom satisfy the soul and the spirit.
- Proverbs 18.21: “Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.“
Again, words are very powerful things, much more powerful than many of us realize. God calls us to choose our words wisely. If you want a productive and effective life, it is necessary to learn how to be disciplined in your speech and use what you say for the benefit and encouragement of others. Use your words to give life to others.
- Proverbs 21.23 “Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.”
If we speak rashly, recklessly, and foolishly we get into trouble. If we exercise restraint and hold our tongue, we keep ourself out of trouble. This is true relationally, socially, and politically.
Let us, then, guard our hearts and our tongues will all diligence. May we trust God and exercise wisdom and discipline in the way we speak and communicate.
“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” (Psalm 141.3)
“Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” (Proverbs 29:20)
