Proverbs 15.18
“A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.”
As goes the mind, so goes the man.
Wise people are emotionally disciplined; foolish people are emotionally impulsive and reckless. Fools respond to an attack by attacking back, which only makes things worse. The wise are cool-headed and patient, and they are often able to calm down an argument and work toward resolution.
There is much trouble in the world caused by impulsive, thoughtless anger. Where emotion is high, clarity is low.
When we teach E+R=O and the Press Pause discipline, we emphasize that “Clarity is power. Lack of clarity is weakness and puts you at risk.” The value of pressing pause is that it stops autopilot thinking, slows down emotional impulse, and focuses on getting clarity. Clarity of vision determines quality of response.
Wise people understand that your first reaction is often not your best response. Most of the time it is better to wait, observe, and gain better understanding. Life is full of moments of impulse. Therefore, it is necessary to press pause and convert those impulses into moments of intention and purpose.
This is especially true in a heated conversation or confrontation. If you do not press pause and gain clarity through a simple system like E+R=O, there is a very good chance that you will react impetuously, and reckless words will escalate the emotion of the situation. It is not likely to end well.
Don’t get caught in the gravitational pull of impulsive anger. You can’t make good decisions with bad information, and impulsive anger will give you bad information. This is because there are three things that anger doesn’t want: precision, patience, and perspective.
It doesn’t want precision. Impulsive anger isn’t interested in truth or accuracy. It doesn’t care about the actual facts of the situation. Anger finds (or fabricates) confirming evidence to justify being upset. Anger can be an unguided missile.
It doesn’t want patience. Impulsive anger reacts quickly and without thinking. It doesn’t wait or want to gain understanding. It is impetuous and impatient. It is rash. Anger can say and do reckless things.
It doesn’t want perspective. Impulsive anger does not want to see the bigger picture. It doesn’t care about a different viewpoint or another opinion. Anger can have tunnel vision. It can fixate on what it is mad about, and be blind to everything else. Anger cannot see what it cannot see.
This is why James says, “The anger of man does not work the righteousness of God.”
The battle is in the mind. Everyone wants external victory and success, but to win the battle on the outside you must first win the battle on the inside. If you don’t do the inner work, you will be at the mercy of external circumstances and internal impulses.
As goes the mind, so goes the man. Trust God and do the inner work.
