Proverbs 29.20
“Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.”
This is a long devotional, and well worth investing the time it will take to read it. Because of the importance of the topic, it is a carry-over from what I wrote last Friday. Very few things in life are more important and impactful than the way we communicate. Words are the currency of human interaction. Communication is how we connect—or disconnect—from each other.
It is imperative that we exercise wisdom with regard to what we say, how we say it, and why. Even the great philosopher Plato recognized this timeless truth: “Wise men speak because they have something to say. Fools because they have to say something.”
The book of Proverbs has many verses about being disciplined in your speech. What follows are some of those verses. Read each passage carefully, slowly, and more than once. Think deeply about each message, and pray the Lord will give you insight about your use of words.
- Proverbs 12.18
“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
Foolish people are reckless and rash with their words; the way they talk is harmful and hurtful. They tear down. Wise people are disciplined and careful with their words; the way they talk is helpful and healing. They build up. - Proverbs 13.2-3
“From the fruit of his mouth a man eats what is good, but the desire of the treacherous is for violence. Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.”
We live in a time when anyone can express their opinion anytime about virtually anything. Being thoughtful, knowledgeable, and wise is not a requirement. Reckless, uninformed opinions are becoming the norm. The advice that Solomon gives is simple, but not easy. Talking (or tweeting) too much leads to problems; therefore,“Guard your mouth.” Be discerning and disciplined. Don’t give in to verbal or emotional impulse. Before you speak or hit send, press pause and think. Restrain yourself. - Proverbs 15.1-2
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly.”
In the midst of a difficult, emotionally-charged conversation, you can respond with respect and empathy, or you can react harshly. The first response is described as a “soft answer” that tends to have a calming effect. The latter is described as a “harsh word” that tends to inflame and incite anger. - Proverbs 15.28
“The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.”
Wise people pause, think, and pray before responding. They are reflective, thoughtful, and intentional about what they say, how they say it, and why. They seek God’s wisdom. Foolish people are impetuous and reactionary. They do not press pause. They are impulsive and quick to give their opinion. They do not seek God’s wisdom. They are quick to speak without thinking. - Proverbs 16.21
“The wise of heart is called discerning, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.”
The wise of heart are discerning. They see situations clearly and evaluate the statements that people make, and then they respond carefully and persuasively. Not everyone can be persuaded, of course, but wise people are able to reach those who are reachable. - Proverbs 16.23-24
“The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious and adds persuasiveness to his lips. Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.”
Note that gracious, judicious, and persuasive speech comes from the heart of the wise. The wise person speaks from a wise heart, and their words are therefore gracious and helpful. The wise person speaks from a wise heart and therefore encourages the hearts of others. Their words help and heal.
The foolish person speaks from a foolish heart, and their words are therefore damaging and harmful. They seek to tear down, criticize, manipulate, and deceive. They don’t want to help, they want to hurt. Their words discourage and do damage to others. - Proverbs 17.27-28
“Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.”
Exercise verbal restraint. Don’t say more than is necessary. Also exercise emotional restraint. Control your spirit; keep your spirit “cool.” Do not let mismanaged emotions speak for you. Speak with wisdom or be silent. To put it more bluntly, either speak wisely or don’t say anything. - Proverbs 18.2,13, 17
“A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion … If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame … The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.”
Listen attentively and speak carefully. Seek first to understand. Don’t offer an opinion unless you have done your homework. It is foolish to give an opinion about things you do not understand. If you speak hastily, you will embarrass yourself. Be careful about speaking too soon and without considering a broader perspective. - Proverbs 18.4
“The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters; the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook.”
The words of a wise person “bubble up” from a place of deep thought and insight. The image of a brook indicates that the words of the wise are life-giving to others. Their observations are careful, thoughtful, and helpful. - Proverbs 18.6-8
“A fool’s lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating. A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul. The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.”
Don’t gossip! Don’t be argumentative! Don’t be combative! If you speak recklessly, you are inviting conflict. Use gentle words when someone is angry. Talk to people, not about people. When you gossip, it’s like eating food that tastes good, but then makes you very sick. Heed the dire warning in this passage: Be careful that your mouth doesn’t ruin you; that it doesn’t ensnare and entrap your very soul with words of arrogance and deceitfulness. - Proverbs 18.21
“Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.“
Again, words are very powerful things, much more powerful than many of us realize. God calls us to choose our words wisely. If you want a productive and effective life, it is necessary to learn how to be disciplined in your speech and use what you say for the benefit and encouragement of others. Use your words to give life to others. - Proverbs 21.23
“Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.”
Sometimes we simply lack the wisdom and discipline to sit still and shut up. Something gets our attention, triggers an impulsive reaction, and we express our opinion without really thinking. We experience an emotional rush because we declare how we feel.
In the online world, our emotional declaration can be rewarded with likes, clicks, follows, and retweets. But that can be false validation, because often the likes, clicks, follows, and retweets are from other emotionally impulsive people.
When we honor Christ as Lord, our talk is real and authentic, and it is appropriate for the situation. Trust God and speak wisely.
Psalm 19 provides a most appropriate closing prayer: “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”
